I Finally Understand Post-Modern Irony

Such potential

I also discovered that Kokanee Mountain Size cans taste better when poured into a glass.  And that was only by accident when mom had somehow managed to puncture one on her way over to babysit.  Only now, having sent Grandmama home, do I have the opportunity to reflect upon my revelations concerning Post-Modern Irony and king-sized beer, best served in a glass...

I don't get it

My lovely wife, Lyndsay, and I had embarked upon a date, which is a privileged luxury seldom afforded to those who find themselves with child.  Our date, conveniently enough, was at the behest of Brad, with whom we were both acquainted, having spent several years in each others company whilst attending Ambrose Seminary in the service of Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen.  It was, while in the attendance of said institute of higher learning, that I first learned of Post-Modernism, and, perhaps of more import, the fact that discussions of the era are taken quite seriously in some circles, in all sincerity, and without a trace of irony.

Having dumped our progeny off upon her unwitting ancestor, Lyndsay and I found ourselves in the company of two fetching older women, well-manicured, and suspiciously without escort.  The establishment was dubbed Cafe Koi, and perhaps it was due to my coyness that I failed to confirm if our neighbour was, none other than, Catherine Ford. Lyndsay insists that I was right to shy away.  Perhaps, though perhaps I’ll never know for sure.

Ugh, I'm actually thinking Arby's

It was while Lyndsay was in the washroom that Catherine Ford and I griped about having been sat at the bar, despite having made reservations two days in advance.  After all, if dignitaries such as ourselves were denied our appropriate seats of honour (Ford, having been featured in editorial pages across the land, and myself, having been photographed with Joe Clark, but never with Batman) then surely we must be in the presence of royalty.

After what seemed like half-an-hour, Brad’s band finally took the stage.  The singer’s velvety-smooth voice swept me away into an introspective dream-scape wherein I could contemplate such lovely things like love, art, and the Post-Modern flavour of irony.  It was, perhaps, when torn between this dreamland and the skeletal ugliness of its source that I finally got the point.

How ironic!

But why rush to the point?  It was, after all, long after what three years of seminary could never drive home, that I actually shook the strangely insubstantial hand of the man who first drove me to contemplate such things.  He, whose voice couldn’t help but to inspire, was a mere specter.  Fleshy, but skeletal, like he had no bones at all.  A Crunchie Bar... firm upon your initial grasp, but something that soon melts away when confronted with the menacing heat of your hand.  Stranger still, he had a haunted look, as though he’d lost his soul to antidepressants, LSD, or the Irish Potato Famine. 

It was, in fact, long before I shook the hand of this incorporeal being that I came to terms with what the most ridiculous amongst us term Post-Modern Irony.  Three years!  Three years of being immersed in such pretense!  Mine is a church so fearful of something so prone to self-destruction.  Something possessed by a ridiculous, thoughtless spirit, whose final defensive recourse is, and always will be, Well, that’s just your opinion!  As though the thought, that observation, having originated from my brain and being dispensed through my lips, needed clarification.  Thank you, very much... Not.  Idiot.

But there I was, gripped by the spirit of something for which I held nothing but contempt... I finally understood how I had been corrupted by the spirit of the times.  How my own Aspergers-like retardation was not the consequence of genetic chance, but by the fact that I was never allowed to empathize with those around me, let alone those who came long before me.

Let me say plainly what no one did, or could, say to me before: satire ruins some things.  I actually realized this long ago, having had the privilege of watching the Grapes of Wrath, only to know the ending in advance because of my beloved, The Simpsons.

Stellaaaaaaa!

Ohhhhhhhh! Bemoan me, bretheren!  Is this what Ray Bradbury was bitching about?  Has television become the only medium through which us intellectually impoverished proles can become acquainted with that which once was considered refined?  Don’t be stupid.  Yes, obviously... stop pretending that’s a bad thing, jackass.

I know only that which was delivered through a lens for purposes far flung from the author’s original intent.  And here I sit, poured beer in hand, confronted with a lifetime of explanations... Explaining why something so obvious is true.  Explaining that yes, the author actually meant what he said.  Explaining how things are exactly as they seem.  And finally, contending with a retardation most profound, just trusting that everyone can at least accept that some opinions are better than others.

Yet Another "Future of Gaming" Prediction

A couple of weeks back I learned about a group called the Independent Game Developers Association.  A few nights after that I had the privilege of meeting with some members of the local chapter.  Only four guys showed up my first night (including myself) but it was an experience that I look forward to repeating.

The IGDA conversation mostly revolved around console and PC games, which is a world largely unknown to me.  This is mostly because I haven't had the time to play them since the Super Nintendo was cutting edge.  For this reason, and others, my interest in games and game design is academic, primarily, and commercial, secondarily.  Despite being on the periphery in many respects, it was fascinating to listen to the conversation drift back and forth between developer talk and gamer talk. Being on the outside gave me an interesting perspective... all the while I couldn't help thinking that these guys were pretty old fashioned when it comes to gaming.

Pwnd!

For any IGDA guys who might be reading this, I mean no disrespect when I say old fashioned.  It's just that when I'm thinking about designing games and potentially making money from them, I don't see much opportunity in the whole console-PC arena.  Maybe I'm pessimistic, but for a small-time sucka like myself, there's not much room to break into that hyper-competitive billion dollar industry.  If there are trails to be blazed and money to be made, it's not going to be from putting new titles on the shelves at Best Buy.

So what does the future hold for those of us looking to make our mark on the gaming industry?  There's no shortage of opinions on the subject (ask Google), though it might be said that there is a shortage of originality.  In general, those looking toward the horizon see this:

1. Games will be increasingly social (whatever that means)
2. Virtual goods will be an important source of revenue
3. Game data will go online so that play may resume from any computer
4. Mobile device development, like the domestication of the dog, will continue unabated

There it is... the future of gaming in a nutshell.  Mind blowing.  Sarcasm aside, Point 3 is actually a really good one.  The idea of being tied to a PC or console will become increasingly antiquated as the need to install game software on your local machine declines (attribute this to the cloud, or whatever other dumb buzzword is currently in fashion).  Similarly, do not necessarily think cell phones when reading Point 4, because iPads are actually pretty nifty. They hold a lot of gaming potential, especially for the board variety I loathe so much. 

Now, can I interest you in a virtual coffee table?

So where does this leave us?  Well, it leaves me wondering what kind of sucker would actually pay for virtual goods.  I don't doubt that people do it, but I have a hard time picturing myself plunking down real-world cash to upgrade my avatar or obtain some super-awesome weapon essential to advancement in the game.  If I can't progress in the game without spending money, then that's where the game ends for me (I'm looking at you Tower Madness for iPhone).

This also leaves me in the sheepish position of wondering if the overall future of gaming is too obvious to state.  Maybe, but I'm going to do it anyway... we're going to see a lot more targeted advertising within games. Of course, this already happens to a limited degree, but not nearly to the extent it could.  For the most part, game designers have not yet been able to properly exploit what Facebook does best: collect demographic data.  With Facebook, advertisers can effectively target a group of people with an unprecedented degree of specificity.  Contrast Facebook with radio advertising, by way of example.  Radio stations gear themselves toward a gender and a generation.  The 25-34 year old female demographic, for example, is the most coveted in the industry.  Facebook, on the other hand, is capable of narrowing that range to the point where a person's stated interests may be considered when placing advertising within the game.  Facebook's own advertising reflects this fact, though they still don't share the revenue  third-party developers generate, for some reason.

Ooooh! 30% off Canesten!

It sucks that Facebook doesn't give its developers a piece of the advertising action, but don't hold that against them, because they offer something of value for free: the demographic data developers need to make money with targeted advertising!  With that data there's really no limit to how such advertising might be integrated into a game.  It may be as simple as putting a product on a virtual billboard, or as complex as constructing a Pampers display at a virtual grocery store because the advertisers know that a certain new mother likes to play The Sims while on maternity leave.  This kind of targeted advertising only works because of the broad gaming trends named previously... especially the social aspect, without which the demographic data would not be generated.

For game developers there isn't anything particularly challenging about constructing a profile of your user and inserting new ads every time he signs in.  The challenge will lie in not allowing that integration to compromise the structure or playability of the game itself.  In-game advertising must be as ubiquitous as real-world advertising, while being similarly inconspicuous.  It's like selling virtual goods without placing the financial burden on the user.